Beck had a rough night last night. After crying from 7 pm to close to 11, he awoke at 12:30, and then again at 3:30 as angry as ever. So I found myself awake at 4 in the morning with my head spinning of all the things that need to be done in the next couple of weeks. J's parents visit is around the corner, and there's so much to be done around the house. We're expected to provide a traditional thanksgiving meal while they're here, yet we've never baked a turkey...alright, the use of the pronoun "we" is less than accurate seeing as I don't ever cook, but you know what I mean. What to get the family for Christmas is still up in the air since money is tight (I thought teacher's got paid little, stay at home moms make even less =) ). And then there's Ky's bday...try getting a soon to be four year old to tell you what she wants to do to celebrate...not an easy task. Even jobs as simple as getting ready for our family picture day is turning out to be impossible. The other day we went up to Stonebriar in search for some outfits for the kids...came home hours later w/ a screaming baby, bored 4 year old, a sweater vest and part of an outfit for kylie. To say it was less than a successful trip would be an understatement, but I still contend that much of it lies outside of my control. Baby boys clothes are just not cute, and seeing as jason refuses to let me put him in anything plaid or corduroy, the options are pretty thin. Anyways, I found Beckham a white button down and jeans to match the sweater about 15 stores later, as for ky's outfit...still working on it, but it will get done eventually.
Jason and I are asked often now a days the difference between having one kid and two. And at the beginning, even though he made it sound like a miserable experience, I still contended that it wasn't that bad. I stand corrected. Now that I have graduated from the "new mom" bliss stage, I have come to realize that having two children makes like infinitely more difficult. Lets take going for a walk as an example...First, you must get Beck bundled w/ pacifier in tow (still no guarantee that he won't scream the entire way around the block) then you have to pull out ky's old stroller since she refuses to walk because brother doesn't have to walk. And there you have it, me following Jason down the sidewalk, trying to keep Kiki in tow while Kylie talks non-stop and Beck cries...any possibility of having a conversation with my husband over a nice stroll is long forgotten. Not that I would change it for the world. There are moments during the day that will stay with me forever. Like when Kylie strokes Beck's hair and tries to get him to calm down by singing to him. Or when I see the beginnings of a grin when Beck catches sight of his big sister. But man...it ain't easy, that's for sure.
So anyways, Beck's 3:30 wake up had me thinking about how fast time flies by. After noticing that he had peed through his clothes and blanket (an occurrence almost common place right now) and trying to get him in an outfit he wore just last week and has already outgrown, I realized that my little man is not so little anymore. We have a daughter prepping for kindergarten and a little man that doesn't even fit in newborn clothes anymore...and I'm stuck wondering where all the time has gone. As excited as I am to watch my children grow, to see them struggle and thrive, to learn and explore, a part of me wants them to stay little forever. Its the bitter sweet struggle of every parent. So what is a day in the life of a stay-at-home mom like? Right now, for this mom...its trying to cherish every sweet moment you have before it passes by, because like the song says, "Its never gonna be like this again."
