A guilty conscience...

So there are numerous reasons for my guilt this time around, but I'll start with the worst one.

A little over two weeks ago Beck cracked his head off the VERY sharp corner point of the footboard on our bed. I had just thrown the comforter on the floor and was working on getting the sheets off the bed to be washed, when Kylie came jumping in. It only took seconds for Beck to follow. I guess he didn't realize the part of the comforter that was sticking up was covering the edge of our bed. He jumped right in, head first, pushing the comforter down and cracking his forehead on the point. It only took me two seconds to pick him up, but by the time I did, it was already the size of a golf ball. I have always heard that if head injuries swell out that it is a good thing. Even still, I called the pediatrician who asked a few questions, and said it seemed like he would be ok. It took the bruising about 2 weeks to heal, and then the concern started.

I realized that part of his forehead was actually indented and if you ran your finger across his head you could feel that there was a deep 'dimple' so to speak, right where he fell. I started to freak out, thinking that my son was going to permanently be scarred with this huge dent in the middle of his head, and more importantly, that there was damage that I didn't address when it actually happened. We took him in to get checked out and the doc reassured me that it wasn't actually a fractured skull like I thought. He said that what he did was essentially obliterate the fat cells that most people have between their skull and skin. LUCKILY, children have more than adults, and reproduce them until they reach a certain age. He said the dent SHOULD heal, although it might take years. I'd rather have heard something like WILL heal, instead of SHOULD, but right now I'll take what I can get. At the end of the day, I'm just glad that he won't have to walk around with a helmet strapped to his head (which is seriously the first picture that came into my mind).

Now, on to #2. I didn't realize until we made it back from vacation that Stratton hit his 1/2 birthday while we were there. When Beck hit this milestone, we stopped at annie's bakery for cupcakes, and we actually sang 'happy half birthday to you'. Stratton...not so much. Poor boy spent it baking in the sun and dealing with a runny nose, while his horrible mom didn't so much as remember he was turning 6 mo. And I wish I could give you his stats, but J left them, along with the box of wipes, at the doc's since he was dealing with both Stratton and Beck. I'm not sure if its because life is so busy, or simply because he's #3, but I'd be lying if I didn't say Stratton has gotten the short end of the stick around here. Just today I was on the floor playing with Ky and Beck while J cooked dinner. At one point he reminded me that our other son was just propped in the corner of our couch sitting there all lonely with not even a toy to chew on. I had honestly forgotten....how sad is that?

Alright, well I think that's enough confessions for one evening. I've included a couple pictures of Ky from her first week at school. All in all, it turned out alright. She was tired, and a bit bored. I think she thought she'd walk through those doors and start absorbing new info. I guess I should have prepared for her for the hours spend learning how to stand in line, and raise your hand (all of which she already knows). She was, however, able to keep her clip on green all week (which is great!) and because of that she was able to pick something out of her teacher's treasure box at the end of the week. I'm hoping things will start to pick up for her and that this coming week is a little easier for all of us!

This girl would wear skirts everyday if I let her...

Day #3...

I can never get Beck to sit still to take his picture, go figure he wouldn't leave so I could get a solo shot of ky. If you look closely, you can see the dimple on his head.

Just because sleeping pics make me laugh. Notice he's no longer swaddled. That's because he finally started rolling over while on vacation. MANY times he'll get himself in the strangest positions...his butt up against the corner of the pack n play with his feet straight in the air. We're still working on getting use to this rolling thing. Stratton has NEVER been a fan of sleeping on his tummy, even when he was very little.

First Day of School

I remember peeing on a stick (actually many sticks) in my parents house and finding out I was pregnant (and thinking...oh crap!)...I remember telling Jason and then telling my parents and his. I remember the doctor laying this little baby girl on my chest and me thinking, ewww...she's really kinda gross, can you clean her up a little? I remember taking said little girl home and listening to her cry...and cry...and cry. I remember her first steps, her signing "mo (more)" as she ate at the table. I remember her adorable smile and cute CRAZY ringlet hair. I remember thinking that I had all the time in the world with her.

Now she's five, and has started school. I miss her tremendously, but I know she's having fun and learning so much!

Here's to another first....

morning of first day of kinder, eating breakfast...

All dressed up and ready to go. She had this outfit picked out for MONTHS before school started...

Big backpack for a lil' girl...

First day of school (even beck was holding up fingers)...

Ky and Kenz heading into the school...

Outside her classroom...

As soon as she sat down she was done with us and ready for us to leave. Wonder where she gets that independence??? I'll be blaming Jason for YEARS for that one....

Baby girl all grown up!

My how time flies....(Ky @ 1 yr. old)

Vacation Bound!

Last week we packed up the crew (which really meant packing up pretty much the entire house when all was said and done) and headed to Florida with our dear friends the McGilvray family. We had a blast on the beach, in the condo pools (including a water fall, monkey bars, lazy river, spray park and wet playground), and much more! Steph and I were able to go parasailing, something both of us have always wanted to do, and Jason and Aaron even took the big girls out crab fishing one night. Kylie LOVED every minute of the entire vacation (but I think her fave. might be a toss up between playing in the sand, and playing kitty cat in the condo with Kenz and Ash.) Beck did MUCH better than I thought. He didn't mind the sand at all and actually enjoyed being in the water with dad. Stratton, well...he struggled a little bit. He was fussy all week there, had trouble keeping his food down, and wasn't sleeping well. Pretty much, he was a typical 6 mo. old at the beach! We didn't take a ton of pictures, but between the two families, I think we covered most of the events. It was hard to say goodbye at the end of the week, but I was ready to get home and back to our normal routine. From a travel side, everything went really smoothly. The kids did great on the flights (trip there wasn't full, so Beck got his own seat next to Ky and J while I sat across from them with Strat who slept most of the way there and back), the rental car process was quick, the condo was ready, and all in all, it was a blast for our entire family!

The three amigos...

Ky and Beck playing in the sand

Beck thought the hole was pretty cool.

Steph and I coming in from parasailing...

That's us...way up there!!!

Before heading up...

She did these monkey bars so much that she has blisters...

Playing in the ocean.

Getting buried...

Daddy and his troublemaker...

Hanging with Strat on the beach...

Boat trip.

First day at the beach with the entire family (this didn't happen very often in the 7 days we were there due to nap schedules)

A man and his thoughts...

An intense game of go fish...

Crabbing...

Beck was very angry that he couldn't hold the crabs, he didn't understand...

After cooking the crabs, getting them ready to eat.

Belly laugh.

This spells TROUBLE!!!!

Stratton watching the Steelers game on Thurs. night.

Helping hands...

LOVE this shot.

Watch out waves!

This is the life...

She was so brave..the entire time I had to keep telling her to come closer to shore. She kept wanting to go out where she couldn't even touch anymore.

Our attempt at a family photo (thanks, Steph)...I had wanted to do this, but by the end of the week, I was over it. Luckily, I have a hubs to knew how bad I wanted one, so he made us do it anyways. Glad I did. Here's the FAB FIVE on Vacation 2011.

For no other reason than....he makes me smile...

And to think there was a short period of time when I thought I didn't want this? phish...good thing God knows more than we do! =)

I think I can...I think I can...WOW...I actually did!

Some of you (ha...I say that like I have a CROWD of readers) might remember a not so flattering picture I posted two months ago in an entry regarding my need to lose the baby weight that decided to hang on for dear life after #3 arrived. Well, its been 8 weeks and I'm proud to announce that I did it (yea, it surprised me more than anyone else I think)....I have always hated running...and yea....I still do...but it (and actually paying attention to what I've been eating) has allowed me to say adios to those last 10 pesky pounds, and no, I don't miss them whatsoever! This is one of the negatives to getting old I guess. I remember a time where I could eat whatever, whenever, and do nothing, and not have to worry. Huh....I guess I can say adios to the idea of that from now on as well. At the end of the day, I'm back to feeling alright about it....but I still have a little ways to go in the toning department, this belly is stubborn (I get it....it has been stretched and pulled for the better part of two years straight), but I believe I deserve to stop and give myself a little pat on the back for accomplishing something I never thought I would be able to. Go me! =)

A decade has come and gone...

This weekend Jason and I attended my 10 year high school reunion. Since I was class president Senior year, I was in charge of throwing the whole thing together, but really all that meant was calling a company who organized the entire thing and making maybe 2 decisions along the way. It was wonderful to reconnect with old friends and make new ones as well. Even with facebook, there is something satisfying about seeing someone face to face. In a world of technology, I think there is a difference. And not only did I get to meet the spouses of many old friends of mine, but I was also able to talk more to people I wasn't that close to in high school, but have since then found much in common with (becoming a mom will do this to you). I had a fun evening just getting away with Jason while my parents watched 'the troops', and seeing so many good people was just an added bonus. I didn't take many pics throughout the night, but here are a few...

My dear friend Vincent and I. We have known each other for, well, its safe to say somewhere around 20 years, and although we lost touch for a short time MANY years ago, he is one of the FEW people in my life that I will always be able to depend on. Vincent was class president at a nearby high school, which opened after our freshman year. Since we all went to school together before Creekview opened, we decided to hold a joint reunion.

Drew, Jeff, and I at the City Club after dinner @ Palomino's. These two are like the big brothers I never had. Drew and I were in the same pre-first class (6 years old), and I met Jeff in Middle school. I love these two dearly!

Matt, M'Lee, Jennifer, Laura, and I. It was so wonderful to see how well everyone is doing 10 years later. It makes me proud to call them my friends, even if I don't see them often!

Amanda, Lindsey, and I. We could talk children all night long if we didn't know how sad a sight it would have been! Becoming mom's have brought us together...

All in all it was a wonderful evening, and J was a trooper through the whole thing. I wish the turnout would have been better, but I can only control what I do, and I'm glad I went!

God's little reminder...

Ever since Stratton was born, and Beck decided to take the 'I'm overly emotional to an unbelievable level' role in the family dynamics, I approach many of my days in a self-preservation, let's get through the day sort of mentality. And although this aptly describes how I feel and should expect to feel on rare occasions, it has all too often become a catch phrase in my life and my daily routine.

I have always felt that this conundrum is a part of life. Much of life is cyclical for the role of a stay at home mom. Feed the children, change the children, bathe the children, teach the children. After a certain amount of time your 'appreciation' for your little blessings wanes, and although you never take them for granted so to speak, it is more like you become numb to exactly how blessed you are.

This is where God comes in.

This isn't the first time, and it undoubtedly will not be the last time, in my life where such an occurrence sneaks up behind me just to smack me in the face and say 'WAKE UP'.

This past weekend I spent two days visiting my dear friends in Houston. The entire trip I was able to sit back and watch Jess interact with her two year old son and take care of her new baby girl. It was such a refreshing experience. It goes without saying that although she has her hands full, they aren't quite as full as mine (at least not yet), but the way that she approaches motherhood was a good reminder of how far I have drifted from my own beliefs. Instead of attempting to check things off a to-do list, or have a million and one activities going at once, she simply sat down and colored with her son for hours on end. And aside from the breaks he took to dance to Michael Jackson (a treat to watch in itself), he was completely happy simply to have all of mommy's attention.

Too much of my day is spent multitasking. Playing barbies with one hand, racing cars with the other, while making silly faces at Stratton sitting on my lap (all the while thinking about when I need to start getting a bottle ready, or when I am going to find the time to clean up the kitchen). And although the rugrats are quiet at moments like these...are they happy? Sometimes you need to take the time to make one on one attention, even when you aren't necessarily one on one (which I RARELY am anymore). Seeing Jess this weekend helped me remember that it isn't quantity of time, but rather quality that really matters. Jess, you are an amazing mother, I am proud to call you my friend, and see your friendship as a true blessing in my life. Thank you for reminding me that motherhood isn't about occupying your children, but interacting with them.

I am reminded that I am truly only as busy as I believe I am. And life is only as complicated and crazy as I decide it to be.

Just before leaving on my quick weekend get away, I was informed from Jason that a couple of friends of ours (who we assumed were trying to start a family) had recently miscarried their first pregnancy at 7 weeks. The weight of this news hurt my heart in a way I can't describe. I feel their pain, their heartache, their fragility. And I see myself once again crouched into a little ball on my bed after finding out about our first loss, and our second. It never gets easier, every time I hear of someone having to go through this. I never forget what it was like for us, and the pain swells back up inside. I don't think about those two babies all the time now, but every once in a while I am reminded of those trials and the grief that swaddled them. I am praying for them, lifting them up to God, that they find understanding and comfort in such a difficult situation. I pray that they give up their own life direction and replace it with the much greater and powerful one He has already given us.

I came home from my trip and hugged my kids a little tighter. When I read to Kylie that night I wasn't just reading the words on a page, but I was transported with her to Rainspell Island while the fairies tried to defeat the evil Jack Frost for the millionth time. When I kissed Beck goodnight I told him I loved him, which I always do, but spoke the words from the heart rather than from rote. And I appreciated the quiet time Stratton and I had in the middle of the night, when it seemed like all the world was sleeping except for he and I.

I am forever grateful for these humbling moments when I am overwhelmed with how much He has given me. I vow to TRY and wake every morning with a refreshed attitude, one not of survival, but of joy...at least until the next time I am in need of God's little reminder...

Weekend happenings...

This weekend I had the chance to get away and head to Houston to visit my dear friends Jess and Joey, and to meet their two beautiful babies. Due to our timing of pregnancies, the last time we saw each other we had only Ky and they had no children yet. Essentially, two years (and 4 babies ago) Sad to say, but true...the trip was WAY overdue. Anyways, we even got to meet up with my old college roommate. Here are a couple pics during the trip.

Sweet Baby Julia, 4 weeks old, about 8 lbs. (Stratton was never this small)

Jess and Jordan playing with Stratton

Stratton loved watching Jordan run around. Look at those boys sweet eyes! LOVE him! I seriously thought about bringing him home with me.

Sweet girl...

Crazy to think that these two are only 4 months apart. When they get older, 4 mo. will be nothing, but now....its like night and day. Look how big my kids head is!!!!

Jess and Strat

Kelley and Strat

And of course...leave it to Kylie to wait until the weekend I'm gone to lose her first tooth. I mean seriously...I'm with my kiddos 24/7 and she chooses Sat. morning to pop that sucker right out! Actually, I knew it was really lose before I left and I just hoped that it would hold on till Sunday. She woke up Sat. morning and didn't even realize it was gone until Jason noticed. They both rushed back to her room and luckily found it on the end of her bed. She decided to wait on the tooth fairy until i returned home so she could show it to me! I woke up Sat. morning to this text message picture...

Even with her morning crazy hair, I love this girl!

Kylie, the morning after the tooth fairy visited.

Counting her money.

I had told J to remind me to snatch the tooth and leave the money. So late Sunday night he walked out of the bedroom with two dollar bills. I told him that I had already put some money in a bag with a little bit of 'fairy dust'....he asked how much and almost freaked when I told him $10. I know its a little much, and it isn't going to be the norm, but it IS her first tooth. And we aren't back in the day where you can buy gum for five cents. Just about anything is at minimum $10 these days! Or maybe I'm just a sucker for my kids...that's a high possibility =)