Life in pictures...

Kylie is getting involved in the 'snowball fight' that took place at Gateway Community Church's first annual Family Christmas Party. We had a blast!

Even Beck had fun crawling around and throwing a couple.

The kiddos in their p.j.s waiting on some popcorn and hot chocolate!

Mommy's kisses

This look makes me laugh..i believe kylie said something funny...

A daddy's job is never done...

Beck found the wrapper of an icecream bar in the trash and decided he wasn't done with it, but he couldn't get it back out...

My main man =)

After a snack..and by the looks on Beck's face, guessing it was something chocolate-y

Getting ready for church one Sunday morning...

Ready to be santa's helper this year!

Two funny stories...

I have two funny stories I forgot to post that I must share, if for no other reason than the fact that they made me laugh.

The other night, Jason and I were sitting at the dinner table having a 'heated' debate, over what I don't even remember now, but Kylie was walking around the table with her arms up in this defensive position muttering over and over, "whoa...calm down now, settle down now, whoa.." Well, we ignored her, because we already know she's a complete weirdo from time to time. Well, a couple minutes later, the argument becomes a little more intense, J raises his voice to say something and Kylie yells out, "Jason and Ba-rook (yeah, she makes my name 2 syllables for some reason) Release you mind!" And she said it in this hippie, zen, I'm as high as a kite voice, and then just froze and stared at us. Of course, we look at her and just crack up at how completely random she can be. I can't figure out what is more interesting, the fact that my 4 yr. old deemed it fitting to use our first names, or the curiosity of where the saying 'release your mind' came from, and what the heck it meant.

Anyways, at that time, we found Beck underneath the table singing to himself and it was one of those moments, few and far between, where I thought to myself...yeah, i can do three of these.

On to story number two...I was at home with Beck, holding a paper towel that needed thrown away. He kept trying to grab it from me so I told him, "no, its trash. it needs to go in the garbage." he got this look in his eyes, took the paper towel, crawled himself to the kitchen, opened the pantry, pulled up on the trash, and threw it away. I was so astonished at his ability to understand me that I clapped and cheered because I was so impressed. WELL, that was MY BAD! Ever since then (this was a couple days ago) it is not surprising to go to throw something away and find toys in the garbage, socks in the garbage, barbies in the garbage. I guess he enjoyed my cheering so much so, that EVERYTHING now goes to the trash: My little ponies, bouncy balls, crayons while kylie is trying to color...

I asked J how it felt to have to worry about both the dog and his son getting into the trash.

anyways, just a couple stories that will turn to memories I will cherish forever!

Hello...its been a LONG time...

So, yeah....I haven't written in quite a while. I wish I could say I've just been lazy, or tired, or I could use the fact that we have just a lil' while to go before the troops increase in size by one, but truth be told...I've been avoiding...why might you ask? well, mainly to update on Kylie's progress.

I want so bad to say that all the miserableness that came with her eye surgery is over, that we're completely healed and ready to move forward, but we're simply not. Ky went in for surgery on the 19th of November. And for whatever reason, we were under the assumption that the recovery would take about a week and she'd be back to her normal self. Well, today is the 6th of December, about 3 weeks post-op, and we're still waiting patiently for a full recovery. She has come a LONG way...this is true, but we're not done yet. Her eyes are still bloody, one more than the other, and she's still experiencing double vision (although the objects are moving closer together, another sign that the process is not over) But as a mom, I'm just ready for her to see normally again. I'm ready to put this chapter behind us and move on to something else. Regardless of how prepared we were...and I do believe we were...there is NOTHING that can prepare you as a parent going into a situation where your child goes through that. At least, that is my opinion. The surgery process was a lot rougher than I had anticipated, Kylie had MAJOR problems coming out from being put under, so much that they ended up putting her back to sleep because they couldn't calm her hysterical kicking and screaming (by far the scariest 20 minutes of my life)...and I could go into more detail, but its not fun for me. and I could post pics, but those aren't fun either. They don't define Ky, or represent who she is, or show all the beauty that is inside. So, we're doing a lot of praying for patience, and God's healing hand, and we've been very fortunate that he has had his arms wrapped around us for this process thus far. Kylie has been a complete trooper, as usual. I just love my little girl so much!

Update on the pregnancy: I went back in to the docs for my 28 weeks check up almost two weeks ago, did my glucose test (I don't know why, but that process always almost makes me sick), and just did a quick check up. The heart rate sounded great, still measuring a little bigger than normal, but all in all, we're moving along quite nicely. The interesting part to the apt. was this: At 28 weeks, I had put on 17 lbs., which is a good healthy amt., but at my heaviest with Beck, I put on only 17 lbs., and I still had 12 weeks to go with this pregnancy at the time. Its just crazy how different each baby process can be. Take for example, the differences in fetal movement. Kylie was a calm mover, and her favorite move was poking out of one side and sliding across the length of my stomach to the other side. Her movements were calm, although fairly consistent. Beck, on the other hand, would almost hurt me daily with his random thrashing about. He battled hiccups almost daily, and loved to get up right under my ribs. With this pregnancy, there are multiple hours in a row where this baby doesn't move at all. In fact, the only time he moves is when I'm not moving. Whenever I sit down to rest or sleep, he'll gently reposition himself for all of 10 sec. and then he's done again. I'm hoping this is a sign that he'll be a calm one, but you never do know till they get here....

Christmas is right around the corner and I've never been as prepared as I am this year. Most of the shopping is done! The decorating is done! And we're ready for our trip up north to go see J's family. Kylie has her fingers crossed that she'll get to play in some snow...and I'm even curious how Beck will react if indeed we get to find out.

Kylie's school Christmas program is tomorrow night. She's very excited, as are we, and I'm hoping she does well reciting her one line that we've been working on for TWO months now!

The HIGH cost of a fruit snack...

So I will replay the event that occurred for you yesterday afternoon around our kitchen table during snack time, it went a little something like this...

Kylie (done w/ her snack) "Mom, can I have some of Beck's fruit snacks?"

Me (after automatically saying No and then changing my mind) "You know what, you do such a good job of sharing with him, that yes, you can have ONE of his fruit snack because he only has a couple."

Kylie grabs what I think is one snack while I'm digging in the refrigerator. After finding what I am looking for, I close the door, only to see that she is staring at me with this look on her face, and won't take her eyes off of me...you know...the look. So I ask her if she took only one, to which she shook her head yes. Then..and this is the best...

Kylie "Mom, I need to go hide under the table for a minute."

At which point I know she has taken more than one. I make her open her hands to find three fruit snacks in them. I make her give them all back to Beck, I tell her how disappointed I am in her, and I excuse her from the table. This is what I actually do, now what I want to do is yell..what I want to do is cry...what I want to do is something, ANYTHING that will make her never attempt this again.

End of story.

End of story, except for the fact that this is all I think about the rest of the day. This event marks the first time where Kylie purposefully lied to me, tried to get away with something, knowingly made a poor decision. And I, for the life of me, can't get over it! I know, I know, Jason is right, "She's a kid, Brook, she's going to spend the rest of her life trying to get away with things, that's what kids do." But as I lay in bed at night, all I can think about is the next time...will I be too busy with the other kids to notice and catch her? Will I be oblivious to her schemes when she's a young teen and too smart for her own good? Sure, she's easy to read now, she's only 4...but she has plenty of time to learn...and perfect her talent.

This takes me back to the point I come face to face with every day...parenting isn't easy, and only gets harder as your children grow. Whoever said that having a newborn is tough work, clearly has never had a 4yr. old, and I can only imagine what a parent of teens would say about that statement.

In those few seconds, a million thoughts raced through my mind...what to do to make this a teachable moment (and I eventually attempt to later that night before we pray...after I had calmed down a bit) all the while trying to keep in mind that she is only a child, that we all carry sin with us, that eventually the innocence that is childhood will ware around the edges.

But is it not a microcosm for life? What comes to mind the this weeks episode of brothers and sisters...I know, a strange place to have a t.v. drama insert, but stay with me. Nora Walker, a mother of 5 grown children attempts to explain the difficulties of parenting. She describes the feeling you have as a mother when the school bus drives away for the first time with your baby inside. And how you spend the rest of your life trying to close the distance between you and your child, how you painstakingly grasp at any control you have to protect your children, to guide them, to nurture them, all the while watching the world have its way with them. How you spend the rest of your life chasing that bus...

Nothing in life is a guarantee. I remember being younger and listening to my mom tell me that 'one day I'll understand...when I have children of my own.' I have had many of these moments in the short, almost 5 yrs. as a mom, where I stop cold and remember these words. Where I think of my mom and realize how strong she really is to have done this with me for close to thirty years. How difficult it is to love someone so endlessly, and yet have no control over them in the end. How, as a parent, it is difficult to not judge your abilities based on the success of your children. And the list goes on...

So now it is close to 20 hours after 'the event', and I am sitting at my computer, brooding over three fruit snacks, with tears rolling down my face.

I don't want to let go. It is so hard to let go.

Nothing in life is a guarantee...maybe even your sanity.

Love you mom, thanks for doing what you did...and do..everyday.

Quick baby update...

Last week I headed back to the doctor for my 24 week check up. The heart rate sounded good, I've put on about 12 lbs., and I'm measuring one week a head of schedule at 25 weeks (not that this is surprising, I did this with Beck also before his growth started to slow way down). And I can already tell that the eating has slowed down quite a bit in the last week or so...aside from the snacks and sweets, which are really nothing new, I'm back to eating like a normal person, as oppose to eating for like 10 people. All my blood panels and other test came back clean except for a slightly elevated white blood cell count that the doctor wasn't at all worried about. I head back right before Thanksgiving for my glucose test (always fun!).

As for preparations, nothing is happening. Call it lack of time, call it tiredness (for both me and Jason who is working crazy hours lately) But we still have some time to figure the little things out. It is comforting to know all the big things are out of the way already. The naming has gotten no where, not that we expect it to when you're not actually talking about it. I have a list of possibilities, some of which Jason is alright with, some of which he highly dislikes...none of which has called to us and said "THIS IS THE NAME!". What's funny is that we're both thinking about letting Kylie name him. On two separate occasions, unknowingly, J and I both asked her what she would name the baby if she could choose anything, and she told us both 'Elijah'. She said someone at her school has this name and she likes it. Now, Elijah has never made it on the list, but neither Jason nor I dislike it, and she seems very intent that this is the name. In fact, the other day I mentioned the baby as baby X (the recently coined nickname due to lack of an actual name) and she corrected me by saying, "You mean baby Elijah mommy." It was so cute...I might just have to let her have this one. After all, she's going to have to put up with two younger, smelly, yucky, dirty brothers for quite some time...

And that's about it for now!

Halloween Fun!

This year we packed up both the kids and headed to the Fall carnival at Harvest Glenn Baptist Church with the McGilvray clan. The girls had a BLAST jumping on the bounce houses, making jewelry, bowling with pumpkins, carving fall leaves, and so much more! After that we headed home for a quick bite to eat before meeting up with friends to go trick-0r-treating in the neighborhood. I took Ky around while Beck stayed home to help dad pass out candy, but from what I heard, there was more of him eating it than actually helping! The day was a blast! And like always, I can't wait to celebrate it again next year!

All the little fairies/butterflies waiting for their light sticks

Kylie and Makenzie holding hands while treating

Posing with Aaron's amazing Ranger Pumpkin

Beck and Dad ready for the treaters

Focusing on her leaf carving

Love it! Wings and all!

Making a fall bracelet

These two have so much fun together!

Bowling for candy!

Ready to head in to the carnival

Back shot

She was so excited she got to wear glitter makeup

My little fairy!

Pre-Halloween

So tomorrow marks another Halloween. Kylie is very excited, of course Beck has no idea what is going on. Just for memory sakes, here's a quick stroll for ya...

School Halloween Party 2010

Halloween Witch 2009

Beck's first Halloween at 2 weeks old 2009
Sibling love...
School Halloween Party 2009

Halloween Kitty 2008

Halloween Clown 2007
Halloween Indian 2006