Summer is flying by...

First haircut...of course daddy fed him the entire time...

momma's angel

tent making time
look at my giant, her and makenzie are only two months apart...LOVE the cheesy smiles

I feel like we've been waiting for vacation this summer FOREVER! And now its right on the horizon and I feel like it popped up outta nowhere. Don't ya hate when that happens? We leave in a couple days to have some fun in the sun in Virginia Beach and watch two very special people say 'i do'.

We've been keeping busy lately...

Jason traveled all last week for work in preparation for being out on vacation, so the kids and I had a lot of time to spare. My parents came over and helped me take Ky and Beckham to grab some dinner at chick-fil-a on Tuesday night, which I guess is their 'family night' (I had no idea) It was really neat. They had someone there doing balloons for free, and THE BEST face painter I have ever seen. Usually Kylie would NEVER get her face painted (she just doesn't like the feel of it) but after seeing one kid's neat cheetah face, she was sold. Although, she opted for the angel (you can see the halo and wings), and a princess crown by the balloon man. What I thought was going to be a quick trip for dinner, turned into over an hr. of fun. Beck LOVED watching all the kiddos running around, and was equally as fascinated with the balloon man.

Speaking of Beck, the big man got his first hair cut last weekend so he'll be looking quite dashing at the wedding. I know he didn't have a lot to begin with, but the fly aways around this boys ears were killing me. He did really well until the very end, and although the final product wasn't perfect (and cost like $20!!!!!) it was still better than I could have done on a wiggly 9 month old.

We have been spending a good deal of time with Stephanie and her girls lately. I think we both admit that its just TOO HOT outside to do anything, and the girls LOVE playing together. I can't even explain how big of a help they have all been, from making me laugh, to keeping kylie busy, or watching Beck while I'm at appointments. Here are a couple pics while they played dress up (from my closet and kylie's). They also put a lot of effort into making a tent in the living room!

Dr. Apt.

This post is going to be pretty short and to the point. j's been out of town since yesterday and his flight home got delayed...I'm tired, Beck's cranky, and Kylie....well, all she wants to do is go back over to her friend Makenzie's house where she played ALL DAY!!!! (I tell you, there is something about having great friends, I know for a fact I wouldn't be sane still if it wasn't for Stephanie).

Anyways, back to the point. Met with the sono tech today, she recognized me since it hadn't been that long since I had to deal with her and issues with Beck (placenta problems, lack of weight gain, etc). So sad...Anyways....the diagnosis? Subchorionic hemorrhage. I know right, what??? Let me dumb it down for you like the doctor had to do for me...The baby sack is separating from the uterine wall, causing massive bleeding and cramping. Good news is the baby is doing very well....and the actual 'official' answer is that we're 11 weeks and 5 days along, putting the due date at Feb. 18th. The not so good news, this hemorrhaging puts me in a high risk category, meaning that if the issue doesn't fix itself, we will most likely have a miscarriage. There is NOTHING the doctor can do except monitor, there is no surgery or medicine except prayer that my body will recognize what happened and begin to reabsorb the blood, allowing the walls to reconnect. I have another sono in three weeks, and the goal is to see that the bleeding hasn't gotten bigger (this would be bad) and hopefully it will have shrunk a little bit. But, according to the doctor, mine is a fairly large size, meaning it could be months until it heals...there is no known cause for this, although they do think that this might have been what caused the miscarriages before Beck. Its sorta like a...if you have one, you're probably susceptible to them in general.

I came home and started to do all this research, found a site where all these mom's put their stories fighting with similar situations as ours, some successful, some not. I didn't get that far and I shut off the computer. I know God already has our story written, and I will trust in Him. Until the next appointment, more pelvic rest, no exercise, no lifting (heavier than Beck) In other words, the easier I take it, the higher chance that this fixes itself quicker. Oh yea, I forgot to mention that the doctor also said he wouldn't be surprised if there is more bleeding episodes (what fun!) but according to him, if the baby has survived the last two, and is only getting stronger, he has high hopes that it will be a positive outcome. So here's to praying that this little fighter remains a little fighter....And that is the latest...

Baby, Baby.....Baby?

I will be the first to say that Jason and I have been very blessed as a family, and although the path God has set before us has been a bit different than the one we imagined, in many ways, we have everything we ever wanted. Both of us always wanted two children. We both grew up with one sibling, and although I still remember my older sister pinning me down while we fought over dress up clothes, I wouldn't have had it any other way. After the traumatic event that was two miscarriages, and then finding out about Beck's pregnancy shortly after, pregnancy, in general, since Kylie has been anything but 'enjoyable.' I look back at how 'green' I was while pregnant with Ky, and I yearn for that abandoned excitement and joy.

We felt so blessed when Beck came into our lives, and relieved because we knew that we were done with all the heartache that can come along with trying to get pregnant. We discussed Jason having a vasectomy, however, after talking to my OBGYN, who convinced us that we were really young to be having such a procedure, we decided to take the route of birth control. And even though your chances of getting pregnant while nursing is like less than 4%, I had him put me on the pill anyway, just to be sure. There wasn't a question in my mind that we were done. I was complete. Our family felt whole. I had two beautiful children that I could devote my entire life to.

I weaned Beckham to a bottle at 6 1/2 months and took the rest of my 'specialty' birth control (b/c of nursing) until it ran out. I was even responsible enough to call the doctor, who confirmed that I really needed to wait until I had my first cycle before starting back up on regular birth control. This wait lasted two weeks, at what point I had a very heavy cycle (one that I would have been worried about had I not already heard that your first, post-nursing, can be like this). I took an entire month of pills, including the inactive ones, and never had my second cycle. I could tell my hormones were screwed up, and assumed my body was just not back to normal yet. I knew that I needed to have some testing done, so I planned on calling the doctor. Just thinking ahead, I assumed that they would ask if I took a pregnancy test, so I decided to take one just so we could move past that moot point and figure out what was really going on. Imagine my surprise (dare I even say fear?) when I got the results. Its amazing how life can change in the blink of an eye, or in our case, in the sight of two pink lines, yet again...

I will try to sum up the rest of the story (at least up to date) in much less detail. Let's just say it was a lot of what? no.....can we sue the doctor? we don't have a vehicle for this...we don't have a house for this...we don't have time for this...we don't have energy for this...but the biggest of all...we didn't WANT this. Jason and I tried to get our heads around the idea all the while feeling like very fickle Christians. How dare we? It wasn't but two years ago when we started our journey that lead us to Beck. When I laid in bed and cried for hours after we lost the first one. and how I did the exact same thing only months later with the second. And now we look to Him and ask, how could you?

I will fast forward through all the thought processes which were adrenaline filled and such...Obviously, with my history, we waited to book an apt. knowing there was a high chance that this pregnancy would not continue to be. (and truthfully at the time, I think Jason and I were both ok with that idea, although the thought of losing another one was enough to make me sick to my stomach, and no, it wasn't morning sickness).

After two weeks I booked an apt. and finally started to admit that at around 7 weeks, this most likely was going to happen. Two days before the apt. I woke up with some very bad cramping that lasted all day (some times so bad that it took my breath away) and started bleeding sometime around 1 in the afternoon. Having gone through similar events with the two miscarriages, we were fairly certain that we had lost this one. I cried. Jason cried. But in the end, we were ok. I kept the apt. for the simple fact that compared to the other two miscarriages, I didn't really bleed enough...sorry if this amt. of detail disgusts you, I'm not trying to offend....I went in, explained to the physician's assistant what was going on. long story short, we decide to do an ultrasound and schedule a dnc if there was anything still in the uterus....now, on to the second whirl-wind experience....

The convo went something like this:

her: well, there is something in here

me: thinking crap...dnc, what fun (I was able to avoid this w/ the other two miscarriages)

her: there's a baby

me: thinking crap..I don't want to hear this

her: (turning the screen towards me) and there's the heartbeat

me: silent.....thinking... WHAT?

her: (strange face) how far along did you say you are?

me: 7 weeks

her: no. you're closer to 10 1/2

me: silent...thinking...WHAT?

So after the head spinning we looked at a calendar and I started to TRY and figure everything out. If I was really that far along, that means that heavy period I had, wasn't really a period b/c I was already pregnant. That means I got pregnant sometime in the TINY two weeks window when I was on nothing (really, what are the chances?) That means I took an entire month of birth control when I was already pregnant????

So, we'll fast forward again to today. I have an appointment tomorrow morning with a sono specialist who is going to take a closer look, figure out exactly how far along we are, and try to figure out where all the bleeding is coming from. I have been put on pelvic rest...try doing that w/ a 9 month old who still refuses to crawl...

I write for your prayers. Those of you who keep up with this blog, although small in number, are very dear to both Jason and I. There are so many couples we both pray for daily who are looking for their own little bundles of joy, and while we're still trying to get our heads around our third...once I saw the baby move and the pulsating heart, I was done. No more doubting, no more worrying. I have a beautiful baby growing inside, and I can't wait to meet him/her soon (even sooner than I thought) I'll keep everyone updated on how the apt. goes tomorrow.

Until then...I'm left with this thought. We are daily learning the lesson over and over again, that this life isn't ours, but rather the Lords. I wonder if I'll ever get it....I know I will keep trying. and keep learning...

A little bit of randomness...

What a little goof ball. This is us trying to crawl...
This is a picture of where we ended up...
This is where we started...poor kid can only go in reverse...
Beck managed to undo some of his bedding during naptime, I walked in on this.

Making brownies with Ky and her friend Makenzie. I almost didn't need to clean the bowl after they finished testing the batter...
LOVE this face....he's getting very expressive lately

Trip to the Lake...

We've been talking up our vacation to Virginia Beach to Kylie for quite sometime now, and she couldn't wait to go! To satisfy her NEED for water, sun, and sand, I took her, along with our friends Aaron, Stephanie, Makenzie, and Ashlyn to Lake Lavon over the weekend to play in the water. And even though the beach was pretty ghetto, and the water was pretty goopy, all the girls had a blast playing in the sand digging holes and making castles, being chased by the scary alligator (that would be Aaron) and riding around on the 'boat'! Growing up, my family took trips to Lake Texoma all the time, and although it was more fun because we also had a boat, being out there with Ky just made me remember how much fun I had there as a child. I might notice how dirty everything is NOW, but for Ky, sand is sand, and water is water, and she LOVED every minute of it!

when it rains...it pours!

Kylie came into the kitchen w/ her butterfly net on her head and her gardening glasses on, telling me she was going jellyfish hunting...
Beck trying to grab Daddy's bubble gum
eating, because that's about all it seems he does these days...
morning after tent sleeping...


It has been a very long two weeks in the Alcorn house. The following is a snip it of what life has been, and trust me, this doesn't even begin to touch on all of the chaos going on right now: My dad was in the e.r. twice last week and come to find out he has a kidney stone, something we know well since J has been battling w/ them for years now. After discovering the stone was impassable, he met with a urologist to discuss surgery options. While looking over his C.T. scans, they found that he has a potentially life threatening aneurysm right next to the stone which could or could not be a major issue, but since the stone couldn't be removed until the aneurysm was further evaluated, my dad had to meet with an artery specialist, all the while in intense pain and on hard core pain meds due to the stone. Praise the LORD! The aneurysm was looked at by a specialist who said it isn't that big of a deal, that the stone could be removed and that they would deal with the aneurysm issue in December (they want to see if it is growing in size or not). So...my dad has surgery today to remove his stone. Issue #2, Jason calls me Monday morning, saying he's on his way home from work, he thinks he's going to pass the kidney stone he has had for months that has caused no issues whatsoever (we were planning on dealing w/ this stone after vacation in three weeks). Long story short, he ends up in the E.R. and scheduled a surgery the next day. Turns out the stone got lodged while he was passing it and due to the irregular shape, there was no way it was coming out. Add on top of that a sick dog, with bloody diarrhea, a 9 month old with three days of a 102 temp, followed by an all over body rash, and, well...you're starting to get the idea. With all we have gone through with the eye issues, we were really hoping to catch a break soon. It appears we'll have to wait a while longer. I keep telling myself, "Thank God for the rain, because without it, the rainbow would not be." Some random pics from over the last two weeks. J promised Ky a tent sleepover after her eye apt. and the starting of the patch wearing, but due to the rain, the tent got moved in our living room. So here's to tough times, being tested, and knowing that He is there for us in good times and bad.

Beckham turns 9 months...

Yesterday my big boy turned 9 months old. Time is flying by way too fast for me. We don't take him in to the doc's until next week, but I wanted to update on what he's been up to. He's still not crawling, and I'm starting to get very anxious. I can't wait for him to experience the independence and excitement of being mobile! And even though I know my life will become much more difficult when he starts moving (Ky is a BIG fan of toys with little, tiny parts), I know he'll be so excited. He can get on all fours now and push himself backwards, but this only leads to frustration since this isn't the direction he's trying to go. We finished weaning him off this reflux medicine a couple weeks ago, so that, plus the fact that his eye is now clear, he's finished taking any and all daily medicines (Yeah!) He loves playing peek-a-boo with Kylie behind the glider in his bedroom. She yells and he screams and almost convulses with excitement. He has come to the conclusion that big people food is much more yummy than 'that Gerber stuff' and as a result, he ends up eating his food, then some of ky's food, and eventually works his way to mom and dad's plates, in other words...he EATS ALL DAY LONG! I'm shocked that he's isn't absolutely huge!!! My favorite part of everyday is going to get him after he wakes up from a nap. That smile the the best thing in the entire world!!!!