Whats funny is that nothing has changed. Your schedule is the same this week as last week, and so forth. Your children who woke up this morning are the same ones you kissed goodnight yesterday evening. Your house and husband haven't thrown any drastic curve balls your way (at least not yet) and your mind? well, that's another thing entirely.
Is this a normal feeling? Or a parent feeling? A woman thing? Or am I just crazy?
An old friend (and ex friend, thankfully) once told me that he believed I was going to be an amazing mother, but that I'd spend way too much time doubting myself and wondering if I was making the right decisions.
This particular past mistake of a friend is long gone, but his words echo in my head EVERY TIME I have one of these moments.
I think of how one views parenting before actually becoming a parent. It seems so simple. You do what is right. And that statement is still true. The kicker is...it isn't always easy to tell what is right.
And there are off days. Today is one of those days. I wouldn't win any parenting awards over here. There isn't a lot of learning going on, and one would question an abundance of love either (esp. if you saw me pinning beck down just so i could brush his teeth this morning)...yeah, not my finest moment for sure)...the list could go on, but you get the point....
makes me wonder. how did i loose control? or did i ever really have it to begin with?
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